Kinross R.F.C.

A bus, a ferry, a cold hotel (for some) and unfortunately no points as Kinross made the epic journey to Orkney.

The outing began at 11 a.m. on Friday with surprisingly few latecomers and a pick-up in Milnathort for super-late Fraser Ross. The squad was short of backs and Ally “The Admiral” Wood had an inkling he was going to be called upon, however his nightmare did not become a reality until 11.15 the following morning. The first food stop was made just north of Inverness and the waitress had the nerve to serve Elton “Chris Ryan” Prince cold soup, his veins were bulging and hands were twitching but luckily for her she remedied the situation and prevented the ex-military man from opening up a can of whoop ass. A vicious rumour later in the trip suggested another vein was bulging while he watched Barney getting ready for bed!

The bus arrived in Thurso at roughly 5 p.m. where many of the team indulged in a few light refreshment before heading onward to Scrabster to catch the ferry to Stromness. The crossing was relatively uneventful and was over in roughly 1 ½ hours, the trip from Stromness to Kirkwall was made on a local service bus where Barney tried his luck with a few of the locals. Rumour has it he is relocating to Orkney as it is the only place in the world anyone finds his banter even slightly amusing! After checking into the team hotel most of the team headed out into Kirkwall for a look around and some food. However Keith and Geed decided to check out the bottom of numerous pint/vodka glasses. The Orkney nightlife leaves a lot to be desired and I doubt many of the team will be rushing back!

Saturday morning began with breakfast and numerous complaints of cold bedrooms for those unlucky enough not to have heaters, which seemed to be the majority of the team. The team set out for the Orkney playing fields at roughly 10.30 a.m. and arrived to see a very impressive playing field with strangely small dead ball areas. The warm up went well but it was never going to be easy to score points with a second row on the wing!

The game started reasonably well with the exception of an early injury scare to Fraser Ross (ripped his tights apparently), with both teams having chances to score, however the majority of the Kinross chances were coming from the oppositions mistakes. Both Spence and Ross making good interceptions. It was Orkney who scored first driving over through the forwards near the corner, the conversion was missed. Kinross went back on the offensive and were awarded a penalty for an Orkney offside, which was well converted by Spence. The rest of the half was played out between the 22s and Kinross could be reasonably happy with their endeavours.

The second half saw a change in the referee’s interpretation of certain fundamentals. If any Orkney player was tackled a ruck was called whether there was support of not, meaning Kinross were penalised for quite legally trying to turn the ball over. Whilst Orkney players were more than entitled to try to take the ball from tackled Kinross players. In any case Orkney scored 29 points this half, which consisted of 4 tries, 1 penalty and 3 conversions. Two of the tries were certainly dodgy, one for a foot on touch where the Orkney linesman was nowhere to be seen and the second for a blatant offside where the Orkney player was actually standing in front of the breakdown over the try line before touching down. How the referee gave the second try is anybody’s guess. A cynic would argue that it could be down to the fact he is an ex-club captain, has actually made an appearance for the Orkney 1^st XV this season, runs the club lottery, his father was club president, he coaches the minis and is on the bar rota. Of course that is just conjecture and probably has nothing to do with his performance! For any other clubs paying out a 4 figure some to travel to Orkney expecting an impartial referee, beware if the SRU appoints Ian Rushbrook. This may sound like sour grapes but there is no argument that Orkney did deserve their win as they were the stronger team on the day. It just seems unfair that the SRU expect small clubs to splash out a huge sum to play these games but does not feel the need to take the referee appointment seriously. If clubs have to pay and exorbitant fee to travel to Orkney then surely the SRU should be obliged to fly/ferry in an unbiased referee.

In any case, the game was lost and all that was left to look forward to was the bus and ferry trip home. Many beers were consumed (too many by some) and luckily there were no chunders for a change. A new bus rule was introduced by Spenny “if you can’t hold it, don’t drink it”, unfortunately few people could hold it so numerous stops were required by the side of the road for the weak bladdered drunks at the rear. Keith lost his temper when he discovered a budding romance between his sister and Connor Love aka Keith’s new brother-in-law! Dale nearly lost his in Aviemore when Spenny pushed him into a melee between the Strathspey captain, Big Red and Connor Lover. Who says you need to be sober to stir up shit! The trip finally ended at 1.30 a.m. when the majority of the team were glad to be home and looking forward to a sleep in a warm room!

Hopefully next week will see Kinross return to winnings way against Panmure, lets just hope they don’t get to bring their own referee!

Team: I. Harley, K. Tolson, G. Queen, I Barnett, G. Smith, D. Lamont, S. Mullan(c), A. Caldwell, A. Fraser, F. Ross. A. Wood, I. Spence, T. Coll. D. Mackay, E. Prince Subs: G. Wood, C. Love (both used)

 A special thank you to Michael Macleod for providing some photographs from the match. You can see them in his online gallery, and even order prints at www.stylestudiophotography.co.uk.